Halloween Frighteners

Life Outside Turner Towers

Settling down into our seats to watch Halloween I breathed a huge sigh of relief. The journey had felt long and arduous, not from home but from the car park to the cinema. The hold ups we'd encountered became a Nightmare on Peel Avenue for they could be seen by all and sundry although they only directly affected me. I tried to walk with my knees as close together as possible hoping to keep the hold-ups up. Yes, hold-ups. The one's that hadn't seen light of day since I last wore them at my wedding. I was so pleased I still had them because they went perfectly with what I was wearing on this day of the dead. However, it wasn't working, they were falling......... fast. I kept having to stop to pull them up as unobtrusively as I could which wasn't that unobtrusive to be honest, especially when instead of standing in front of me to protect what little there is of my modesty, The Husband, grinning like a demented ghoul, stepped to one side and watched.  I thought I would take them off under cover of the dark in the cinema but it was becoming obvious I wouldn't make it so I sat on the nearest bench unzipped my boots and whipped the offending hold-ups off. Not lady-like and in full view of shoppers who pretended not to notice, the more polite one's that is.

Crikey, I didn't expect the blood letting to begin so early. Took me by surprise. That's why I screamed. Out loud. Very loud. Aaargh! Then halfway through the film The Husband, no longer able to contain his bladder had to go to the loo. I watched him return. He was trying so hard to be inconspicuous, bending low and creeping along as unknowingly, he took the wrong aisle, the one in front .. and the woman he thought was me turned to look just as he got right in her face. She let out one almighty scream. Aaaaaaaargh! Half the cinema burst out laughing and then we were in giggletown.

Crap film, though. On our way out and still laughing, the shocked lady and her man told us The Husband's part was the best bit of the film.