All In a Day's Work

A Tight Squeeze

Working at the centre was never boring and I always looked forward to the Adult Literacy Classes I helped with.

"Hello, James.  How are you today", I asked one of my  favourite students

"WHAT THE FUCK HAS IT GOT TO DO WITH YOU? YOU FUCKING BITCH I’M GOING TO KILL YOU!"

With that he grabbed me from behind, wrapped his arm around my neck and proceeded to strangle me.

I can honestly say I wasn't  cross with him as after all, it was the end of the month and he was due for his medication and he did let go…………..before I dropped dead!

Lucky meeeeeeeeeeee!

A New Identity

Nobody liked the photo of themselves on their work identity passes. Something had to be done and who best to do it but me? So I cut pictures out of glossy porn mags of men's bums and girl's jugs and carefully stuck them over the original photo's. They were so popular that orders were coming in thick and fast from all across the company, in particular from the men who seemed to appreciate the jug pics. Even the company auditors dropped in which was a scary moment -  I thought I'd been caught but they wanted to place orders! Hah, good job I had my own office wasn't it?

 One particular man (you reading this?) who obviously had total trust in me (oh why? J ), wanted a sexy jug job but he must never have really looked at his pass properly because on his I’d stuck a naughty pic of a pair of red and white pants so blatantly worn by a big man, nudge nudge, wink wink ;);) if yer know what I mean, and not the ID card holder who regardless, would not have wanted a man's donger hanging off his belt that sent out a completely different image of himself to what he would want! I recently found this photo in me drawers which is just like the pic out of the porn mag I used.

         

                                           

                      

Unlike my mate in the photo below taken not long after, it looked brill but when the company brought in spot ID checks the fun had to stop before I was found out and hauled before the Big’un! 

                 

   

I probably shouldn't admit to the Friday my accomplice in all things naughty and I put a salmon sarnie in a colleague's drawer which wasn't opened until the following Monday. Oo'eck pooey. J